20 Thoughts Runners Have When Buying New Shoes
#10 is real life. Also, so is #17 in moments of insane runner frustration.
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When you find a great pair of sneakers, you might be tempted to run in them until the laces break and the soles wear out. Totally understandable—the perfect pair is hard to find, and it can be downright torturous to shop for them. If you’re a runner, you’ve likely had to endure the painful process and have probably had some of the following thoughts. The shoe shopping struggle is real; can you relate?
Related: A Formal Break-Up Letter To Your Running Shoes
1. The time has come. These sneakers have everything I’ve always wanted but they also have a hole. Make that holes, plural. Even the duct tape I patched the holes with has holes. One more mile and they will literally disintegrate off my feet. To the running store!
2. Alright, I’ll just go straight to the section with my brand and grab a replacement pair. I’ll be in and out and breaking them in before lunch.
3. Here’s the section for my brand but where are my sneakers? The ones I love? The ones I need?? The ONLY ones I can run in???
4. I’m too late. They’ve rolled out the new model. If only I had come shopping 100 miles ago my beauties would still be here.
5. I can’t even. I won’t even. I’m not going to try them on. They’re not the same. And they only come in orange? Gross.
6. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I’m supposed to test the waters and try something new. A pair that will make me better, faster, stronger!
7. No thank you, mister salesman, I won’t be needing any help today. I’m an experienced runner, mmkay? I got this.
8. So this is a big store, huh? It’s wall-to-wall sneakers here. Like actually wall-to-wall sneakers.
9. Ok mister salesman, I guess you could help me narrow this down, if you really want.
10. Narrowed it down to 15 pairs. I’ll just try them all on quickly.
11. Have I really been here two hours?!
12. Ooo they have a treadmill! Why yes I would like my gait analyzed please.
13. Excuse me! I most certainly do NOT over pronate, thank you very much.
14. Ok, down to the final five. Time to talk colors.
15. Why are my only options squeaky-clean white or highlighter yellow? Give me blue, or give me death! But I’ll take purple if you have it.
16. I cannot make a decision. This is hard. Like, The-Bachelorette-final-rose hard.
17. I give up. Forget shoe shopping, I should just go shopping for some extra-strength duct tape and try to get a few more miles out of my old friends.
18. I guess I should just try on that new model before I go.
19. These are amazing! They feel just like my old ones but somehow better. It’s like coming home again. And they do come in blue?? Sold!
20. Better buy two pairs. I don’t have the strength to go through this again.