Culture

10 Thoughts I Have While Using My Fitness Tracker

T-Rex Runner breaks down the daily thoughts of the average fitness tracker owner.

July 20, 2017 Danielle Cemprola

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My Fitness Tracker Thoughts From Dawn To Dusk

Like pretty much every red-blooded American woman over the age of 18, I am the occasionally proud owner of a fitness tracker. I bought it for the same reason everyone else does: to motivate myself to move more. I thought that, because I’m a runner, I’d have no problem hitting my goal of 10,000 steps each day. Then, I remembered that I don’t run every day, and even when I do, I’m terribly lazy the rest of the day. Hey, an office job will do that to you, right? For the past few months, I’ve been trying in earnest to hit my step goal every day, whether I’m running or not. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t, but I think the same 10 thoughts pretty much every day.

7 a.m.: Oh man, today’s going to be a great day! Let’s get a few miles in and get this morning started off right.

7:32 a.m.: How is it possible that I take fewer steps while running a mile than walking a mile? Running is five times as hard! This is crap.

8:30 a.m.: Okay, I’m going to get up and walk for five minutes every hour during the work day. No excuses.

9:30 a.m.: Oh great, a conference call! There goes walk number one.

12 p.m.: How is it possible that I’ve been at work for almost four hours and I’ve only walked 400 steps? What do I do all day? Time for a lunchtime walk!

1 p.m.: Okay, it’s been like five minutes since I took that walk. Why is this stupid thing telling me to move again? Wait, it’s been an hour already? UGH.

3:15 p.m.: Of course I should take a short walk during the hottest part of the day in my work clothes. What could be better? This is a great idea.

3:25 p.m.: Surely no one at the 3:30 p.m. meeting will notice the rivers of sweat running down my face. This is fine.

5:30 p.m.: All right, let’s hit the gym! My warm up will be on the treadmill. Wait, let me Google how many steps an average person walks in five minutes.

8:30 p.m.: No, I’m not above walking back and forth across my living room to get those final steps in. I’m basically a fitness queen.

Now it’s just a few short hours until I get to wake up and do it all again! Maybe tomorrow I’ll actually stick to my plan. (Probably not.)

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