8 Hilarious Lies We Tell Non-Runners To Get Them To Run
If you've ever felt the urge to get your best non-runner friend out on the roads with you, you've probably said one of these things.
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Every runner needs her running buddies—they encourage you, they push you, and they just get you. But sometimes, a runner feels the urge to bring a non-running friend along. Something strange just comes over you and you think, “We are such good friends and it would be so FUN to go running together. I know I can get her to love it!”
The idea of spending time together (and let’s be real, the promise of brunch afterwards) is usually enough to tempt a newbie to join you for a jog, but sometimes a runner has to drop one of these little white lies to seal the deal:
- “Thigh chafing? No, no, you misheard me, I said…pie baking? Yes, pie baking! We’ll totally deserve some pie after our run.”
- “Oh yes, running always flies by. The miles never drag and it certainly never feels like time is standing still and you will never make it home and you’ll have to live on this trail forever…wait, what was the question?”
- “Come on, a 5K is basically three miles, which is basically three laps around the block, which is basically just a stroll.”
- “Yes of course we’ll go to brunch after. Yes of course you’ll definitely burn off a stack of pancakes after two miles. Sure, bacon, too.”
- “No, there’s only one hill on this route. Ok, like two or three but they’re not steep…I mean not that steep…you do squats, right?”
- “You don’t have shoes? Sure, you can borrow a pair of mine! It definitely won’t drive me crazy watching you the entire run to see if you’re stretching them out or over-pronating or heel striking or doing anything to ruin how perfectly I’ve worn them in. Please, enjoy!”
- “Of course we can turn around if you get tired! I definitely won’t pretend I can’t hear you and run faster.”
- “No, that’s not a black toenail, it’s just that new trendy black nail polish everyone is wearing. Yes, it is still cool.”
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