10 Things You Can Do On A Run—But Not In Real Life

There are various things we do in our running life to make the miles pass, to bring comfort to our aching muscles or simply to avoid pooping our pants. Let’s face it, as a whole, runners are not known for social graces or etiquette.

In fact, there are plenty of things we do as runners that we would never do at work or in public places but, imagine if we did…

Snot rockets.

Oh sorry Mrs. Smith, I just needed to clear that before the big meeting.

Fuel with candy.

Wow you made a lasagna? I brought jelly beans and gel packets for everyone!

Wear head to toe lycra.

I’m really going to get after that new marketing campaign today boss!

Relieve yourself outside.

What? I couldn’t hold it any longer. *shrugs shoulders*

Put on body glide in public.

Waiting at the train, in line at the grocery store, while ordering coffee, you know, anywhere…

Carry spare toilet paper.

Just in case the building runs out, I wouldn’t want to take a chance of having to use my glove again.

Chat up strangers about gear or shoes.

*In line at Target* Do you think the new Lilly Pulitzer clothing line here is worth the money? *Stranger stares blankly, blinks and turns away confused, thinking Do I know her?*

Show up shirtless or in just a sports bra.

It is just so hot outside and, you know, I wanted to be comfortable for this conference call.

Hold encouraging signs up at random.

Worst parade ever. If you pass out during this presentation we will pause your slides! Remember, you’re barely getting paid to do this job.

Stash food in your pockets to eat every 20 minutes or so.

I need to eat at regular intervals to keep my energy up for the year end budget presentation. What?