*Courtesy of RunHaven
It’s no surprise that runners encounter all sorts of sights, smells and sounds on runs. Some of these are pleasant and relaxing (e.g., the sound of a river rushing beside the running path, the scent coming off of a huge lilac bush). Some are simply annoying and disgusting (e.g., that pile of dog turd in the middle of the sidewalk, those construction workers catcalling). We can also get annoyed by the people we encounter while running. They can smell, be rude and are sometimes completely clueless. Here are six of the worst offenders:
1. The Crop Duster: You are running along, minding your own business and enjoying the fresh morning air. A runner is coming toward you. As you pass, you give the expected head nod and wave. Suddenly you breathe in an unmistakable odor — noxious fumes from that very runner’s asshole consume and envelope you as you go. Worst part is, that runner crop dusted for about a quarter of a mile. Rude!
2. The Spitter: You notice a runner up ahead and tell yourself you are going to catch and pass this person. You pick up your pace and notice this runner has ear buds in so they probably don’t hear you. You assume the passing position, navigating to the person’s left. Just as you are neck and neck with this runner, he turns and spits a huge phlegmy loogie, which lands on your thigh. Sure, he didn’t hear you coming, but he didn’t look either. Major running faux pas.
3. The Heavy Perfume or Cologne Wearer: This happens all too often. As you struggle to complete your run, sucking in mouthfuls of air just so you can have a bit of extra oxygen, you run by someone who has doused himself in so much fragrance you’d think he were headed to a brothel. You try not to cough and gag as you run by, but the smell is so overpowering you feel you can’t breathe.
4. The Person with a Dog on a Long Leash: Sure, dogs are a man’s best friend. It makes sense that you will encounter dogs walking with their owners on many of your runs. Yet, it is that dog owner who is clueless that really pisses you off. As you run by, the dog pulls away from the owner, crossing right in front of you. The dog’s leash becomes an extremely dangerous obstacle for you to maneuver around or jump or fall over. Damn dog.
5. The Out-of-Control Sweater: No, this does not refer to an actual sweater that you wear during the cold months. The out-of-control sweater is the runner who sweats so excessively that gallons of liquid literally pours off of his body. Just as you encounter this runner, he whips his head around, causing you to get sprayed with his stinky sweat.
6. The Endless Talker: You are in the zone and on target to finish up your run in just enough time to shower and get to work only five minutes late. Then up ahead you see it: the talker. This is the person who is guaranteed to want to stop and chat about the price of peanut butter and Donald Trump’s hair for at least 15 minutes. You consider hiding in the trees, but it is too late. The talker descends on you, and you pause your Garmin.
Have any to add to the list?