Etiquette expert Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, knows a thing or two about the rules of the road—and the descendant of the famous decorum diva is a runner too!
Q: A friend I often run with invited someone else to join us, but I didn’t get along with her (sorry, not sorry). She said she wants to run with us again. What should I do?
I am a big fan of second chances. It never ceases to surprise me how often I warm up to others who I didn’t necessarily click with right away. That being said, running is a personal outlet. You need to be with people who will keep you motivated, people you can tolerate, people who you feel good working out with—and let’s be honest, not everyone fits that bill. I have great friends who I never run with, because our styles are just too different and that’s okay!
If you’re positive that you can’t run with your friend’s plus-one, I think you should bring it up with your regular running buddy. You can let her know that you didn’t click with her friend. Tell her that you’re happy that the two of them enjoy running together, but you would prefer some days when it can be just the two of you.
Something like: “Kelly, I’m really glad that you and Karen enjoy running together, but for me, it just didn’t click. Let me know if you want to run on a day when it can be only us.”
She may decide to go on and run with her other friend, choose to split her runs or just keep running with you. However it turns out, you’ve been polite about setting a boundary.
Have a question for Lizzie? Email firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @womensrunningwith the hashtag #ProperForm.