A Fantasy Wish List For Runners

A motivation pill would be so nice.


This holiday season, you’ve probably been busy shopping the sales and gathering gifts to give to your family and friends. But hopefully you’ve made a wish list for yourself too and will score some much-deserved running clothes or gadgets. But what if you made a list of the crazy, out-there, only-in-your-wildest-dreams things you really wanted? You’d probably include a few fun items that would solve some of your most annoying running problems and make your life easier. Would you want to see any of these fantasy gifts under your tree this year?

1. A standing weekly appointment with a masseuse.
2. A pedicurist on call to fix ugly feet issues.
3. A GPS watch with a permanent connection to NASA’s satellites.
4. A caddy to hand you water, carry your keys and hold any layers you need to take off when you get hot.
5. Disposable blenders so you don’t have go through the pain of washing it every time you make your daily smoothie.
6. A subscription service that automatically sends you new sneakers when it’s alerted that you’ve logged too many miles.
7. A sunscreen that repels racerback tan lines.
8. A hologram of your favorite elite runner so you can pretend to race her when you’re running.
9. An IV-coffee delivery system for those early morning runs.
10. A personal hairdresser to create immovable yet cute styles before every race.
11. A law that all food must come with labels indicating on a scale of 1-10 how badly it will upset your stomach if you eat it before a run.
12. A stipend for all your running gear from your insurance company since you have such a healthy habit.
13. A headband that stays put for an entire marathon.
14. A treadmill that simulates running outdoors, down to the feeling of sunshine and smell of freshly cut grass.
15. Socks that stay toasty warm in the winter but transform to be cool and breathable in the summer.
16. A shower gel with built-in anti-chafing cream so you don’t have to bother applying it to individual areas before a run.
17. A remote control that changes the terrain or hills outside depending on how tired or motivated you are.
18. For the running mamas—a stroller that propels itself when you’re too tired to push it.
19. Also for the mamas—an hour of free babysitting so you can run stroller-free for once.
20. A personal chef to create the perfectly balanced and nutritious post-run meal for you when you’re so tired all you can whip up is a bowl of cereal.
21. A pill that would give you the motivation to work out when it’s cold and dark and you’re tired and lazy.
22. A personal trainer to make sure you don’t crap out on your cross-training.
23. A rule that all post-race free bananas and bagels have the option to be dipped in chocolate or slathered in cream cheese if your stomach can handle it.
24. Two extra hours on Saturday mornings so you can sleep in and still wake up early for your long run.
25. A personal stylist to coordinate workout outfits that make you feel like you’re walking the red carpet when you’re just running the sidewalk. And an assistant to do all that laundry.