8 Funny Things To Know About Hiring A Runner

Runners are a very special breed of people. They have traits and routines that others may find hilarious, extraordinary, curious or possibly offensive. For this reason, there are a few things—ahem, funny things—employers should know before they hire a runner.

Running will be the subject of the day, every day.

At the water cooler, we will do everything possible to turn the conversation towards running and how far we’ve run that day or that weekend. It is also possible that we will attempt to brainwash all other employees into becoming runners.

You may need to install a shower.

If you do not have a shower at your office, you might consider one after hiring one of us. This is because many runners run right before work or at lunchtime.

Expect mental health days.

Know that if we get injured and cannot run, our mood will fluctuate drastically, sometimes for the worse. This might require additional days off from work so that the runner can sulk, cry, maybe eat a lot of junk food and attend a variety of therapies to treat their injury.

Consider enforcing a closed-toed shoe rule.

Runners have horribly awful feet full of bunions, blisters and black toenails. If this is not something you want to see on a regular basis, you might consider enforcing guidelines around footwear. Same goes for if split shorts are allowed in company meetings.

Make sure your office is well-ventilated.

We might smell pretty bad at times—second-day hair, anyone? We also might not leave time to shower and could possibly leave ourselves open to use of dry shampoo and deodorant and baby wipes only.

Hide food.

Runners are hungry a lot, or we just like to eat for the sake of eating. If there is community food left out (especially if it is high carb), we might be guilty of ignoring the “one per” sign and stocking up for after our afternoon run.

Sometimes there will be TMI.

Many runners are very comfortable talking about bodily functions and might ‘forget’ that we are in the workplace. Enough said.

But we are a dedicated bunch.

Most runners tend to be disciplined and devoted people, not only in running, but also in relationships and in the workplace. In other words, despite our…shortcomings…we are excellent employees to have around.