20 Ways Running A Marathon Is Like Giving Birth

Two very different events, two very different outcomes, yet a whole lot of pain.


*Courtesy of RunHaven

While it is true that having a baby and running a race are two drastically different events with two extremely different outcomes, there are many similarities between the two. From pushing through pain to experiencing bodily functions beyond one’s control, many commonalities exist.

  1. Everyone tells you war stories about how tough, long and painful it is going to be. And it is.
  2. You are given small cups of stuff to drink throughout the whole event — and sometimes ice and ice chips.
  3. You bleed — either from chafing or from, well, pushing something the size of a watermelon out of a very small hole.
  4. There is typically a lot of heavy breathing, cursing and talking to oneself.
  5. Your parents will text you 200 times during the event to see how it is going even though you’ve told them you won’t/can’t respond.
  6. After the first couple of hours, you still have a very long way to go.
  7. You know that hundreds of thousands of people have done what you are doing, but every step, every minute, feels like your own very personal journey.
  8. During the event, there is not a place on your body that doesn’t hurt.
  9. You plan and buy the best stuff and have that day orchestrated to a tee, but it is still all a crapshoot.
  10. It is entirely possible that you will poop yourself and/or puke during the event.
  11. There will come a time when you will want to kill anyone who tells you, “You’re almost there!” or “Stay strong!”
  12. Every quantifiable thing, be it a mile or a contraction, gets you closer to your final goal.
  13. If something goes wrong, there is medical staff to help you immediately.
  14. Photos taken during the event are usually horrendous and involve you making all kinds of contorted faces.
  15. When you push, you get ahead (get it? A head!)
  16. There will be a point at which you think you cannot do it anymore.
  17. At the end of it all, you have a new label: marathoner or mom.
  18. When the goal is met, you are treated to the sweetest of lifelong rewards.
  19. You can barely walk waddle for days after.
  20. Within minutes of the event being over, you swear you will never do it again. Within hours or days of the event being over, you are struck with amnesia and can’t wait for your next chance to experience it all again.

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