Culture

20 Bumper Stickers That Should Exist For Runners

My honor student can run faster than yours. Ha!

Broadway

Runners get made fun of a lot, for everything from their obsession with mileage to flooding social media with sweaty selfies. Fair enough—some of that stuff can get kinda out of control. But then there are the haters who pick runners apart for the littlest things, including our treasured 13.1 or 26.2 bumper stickers. Come onnnn. If other people can display their stick figure families or declare their presidential candidate, we should be able to boast about our passion in the form of bumper stickers. In fact, there should be a lot more stickers made for runners; here are a few I’d like to see slapped on bumpers the next time I’m stuck in traffic:

Caution: Makes frequent porta potty stops
I’d rather be running
My honor student can run faster than yours
I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying
Half marathoner, whole badass
Honk if you love speed work
Ask me about my blisters
I pahked my cah in Hahvahd Yahd. And then ran the Boston Marathon.
I’ve spent more money on my running shoes than this car
Life ain’t a track meet, it’s a marathon. But I run both.
If you can read this you’re running really fast!
Will run for beer
Think my car is dirty? You should see me after a mud run.
This car runs on gas. This driver runs everywhere.
I only have road rage when my running route is crowded
You gotta walk before you can run. Duh, it’s called a warm-up.
Why drive when you can run?
Baby on board (my jogging stroller)
I brake for joggers
I heart my marathoner